Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that 1 out of 5 enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK..? (then it’s you!)